30 Days in the Word Day 30

Dear readers..

Today is day 30 of my 30 days in the Word. I didn't write in this blog every day. I missed 2 days in reading God's word. But I dug into His word the 28 days that I did read.

And I saw my heart. And I saw it changed. I saw it not want to change. I saw Jesus mold me. I saw him hold me. I felt Him with me. Sometimes I was angry. Sometimes I was sad. Sometimes I was so happy. I cried and laughed and smiled and frowned and yelled and shouted and screamed and I was silent. There were days I never felt closer to God before. There were days I felt lower than the dust of the ground.

Because my bones were broken. They were ground into dust when I kept silent. And now I speak because I can't keep silent anymore.

But I can't speak to you. You are not my Father. You are not My Best Friend. You don't understand me the way He does. You don't know me inside and out. You don't know my heart. You don't know my every thought. You don't know why every tear falls. You don't know my pain or struggles. You don't know me at all.

That's why I only fall at the feet of Jesus. That's why He is the Only One who changes my heart...

I'm not sure what else to do.

30 Days in the Word Day 27

Psalm 25
Of David.
1[a] To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;
2 in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.

3 No one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame,
but they will be put to shame
who are treacherous without excuse.

4 Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;

5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.

7 Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.

8 Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

9 He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.

10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

11 For the sake of your name, O LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

13 He will spend his days in prosperity,
and his descendants will inherit the land.

14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.

15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.

17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.

18 Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.

19 See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!

20 Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.

21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.

22 Redeem Israel, O God,
from all their troubles!


My hope should be in the Lord. I need not be afraid of what is to come because those who hope in him will not be put to shame. I want to know more about My Lord. I want Him to teach me in His ways and in what I should do and how I should act. I want to learn. My hope should be in Him ALL DAY LONG. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day. All the time. God is good. He has forgiven all of my past and all that I have ever done wrong. He loves me. I need to be humble when coming to Him. My eyes need to always be on Him. For He alone can save me. Save me Lord. Guard me from what will harm me. Protect me. Shield me with your great Love and faithfulness.

30 Days in the Word Day 25

I must admit I have been struggling. I have been struggling with certain issues in my life. Many issues. And for a while I was extremely frustrated with how things were going and I would become angry very easily...mostly with myself, but I was blaming other people and taking it out on them. Let me rephrase all of that...I AM STILL STRUGGLING WITH THIS.

I am just actually trying to control it now..

I haven't written on this blog in 3 days. Have I still been reading God's word? Yes, I have. But I haven't been blogging about it like I said I would.

On day 23 I purposely did not blog. It felt really good to be honest. I am really burn out right now and it felt great to take a break. I apologize for it, however, I think I really needed it. The things I am struggling with are quite personal and it is very difficult to write about them. I may very well not write about them. If I can be general I will.

But God is working in my heart so much to the point of me being in tears for a good amount of time every day. It is hard. But it is wonderful. This is how God works...who else can change my heart? No One! Who else can have this much of an impact on my life? What other book can speak to me with such clarity and heart wrenching boldness? What other book can change the way I think and act? What other book can hit home the way the Bible does? No other book..

Something I learned today...when you are struggling with something, confess it. When you are sinning and you want to ignore it and blame the world, don't. When your thoughts aren't pure, acknowledge it. Lay them before God. Don't bottle it all up inside.

David says in Psalm 32, verses 3-6:

"When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night you hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said: 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord' -- and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you."

30 Days in the Word Day 22

Psalm 139 NIV

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.



I read that and I am utterly amazed. God knows everything about me. He knows my inside and my outside. He knows where I go and what I do. He knows what I say before I even utter a sound. He knows my desires. He knows my temptations. He knows my struggles. He knows my heart. He even knows my thoughts. He knew me before I was even born. He made me; He created me. I am HIS. And He loves me, unconditionally. Which is incredible. Who would love me if they knew everything about me? Who would love me if they knew everything that I have done? Who would love me if they knew my every thought? Who would accept me and love me unconditionally forever and always? Only Jesus Christ. How incredible awesome is that? How wonderful and amazing our God is.

30 Days in the Word Day 21

You have all heard it. The world is going to end December 21st 2012. But maybe you don't know that it was supposed to end October 3rd 1533 as well; and October 22nd 1844, 1914, 1969, the 1980's, september 11-13 1988, 1993, March 1997, January 1st 2000, and May 2008.

I do not believe that the world will end on this day in 2012. In Mark 13:32 Jesus says no one knows the hour or the time, not even the angels in heaven.

In verses 5-8 Jesus said: "Watch out that no one deceives you. Many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am he,' and will deceive many. When you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains."

We do not know the exact time. I don't believe we ever will until it comes. We will see signs of it coming, but not know exactly. All we know is that we are supposed to be ready and watch and not be decieved.

30 Days in the Word Day 20

I apologize for having no blog post yesterday. I wasn't feeling the best and I fell asleep unexpectedly. I also must admit that I didn't read the Bible yesterday at all. This has shown me that I must not put it off until night. This has also put off my sleep and my well being.

But what I would like to share with you is what I read this morning.

Philippians 3:4-11 NIV

"If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless. But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."

Paul begins to tell of what he was; what he used to be. He was successful. He had it all going for him. He was a leader and the other pharisees thought well of him. He was well off. But he considers it all nothing compared with Christ.

Whatever we earn here on earth; status, money, friends, a nice house, a cool gadget, a college diploma. It is all nothing! Nothing compared with gaining Christ.


Philippians 4:12-21 NIV

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained. Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."

Paul admits that he is not perfect. He's not saying he has it all together. But he is saying that he is pressing on toward the goal. He has his eyes on the prize. His mind and his heart are in the right place and he is trying. He is running the race to win the prize that God has for him. He says we should all look at it in this way. We are running a race. I am running a race.

He says that if we are not looking at it in this way, God will soon make it clear to you that this is what you are supposed to be doing. He will clear your blurred vision. I know he has done so with me many times.

"Let us live up to what we have already attained."

30 Days in the Word Day 18

Philippians 1:9-11 NIV

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God."

This is exactly what I needed to hear. You may remember me talking about love in one of my past posts. Well it has been on my mind and on my heart for some time. God has been telling me to love others, but he has also been telling me to be wise. I am not going to lie. It has been frustrating me and confusing me trying to figure it all out. I am supposed to love others, but I am also supposed to do this wisely. I need to ask for wisdom and discernment so I know what is best and pure and righteous.

Philippians 1:9-11 THE MESSAGE

"So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God."

Reading the message version of these verses really woke me up to what it's all about. I've been struggling with learning how to love others and also struggling with personal issues that make me doubt how to go about loving. Paul says to learn how to love appropriately. It made me excited to read this. There is a way! Then Paul says "Use your head!" I need to be smart. I need to test myself and my feelings. My love needs to be sincere and intelligent, not gushing and foolish.

I don't know what else to say or add. The Word says it all. Let's just say I now have the right mindset.

30 Days in the Word Day 17

Mark 12:41-44

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on."

How many of us can say this? How many people can say they gave their all for Christ? They gave everything they had for His kingdom. Not many people can. Not many people have that faith; that faith that everything will be ok. That faith that depends not on yourself but on Christ alone. That faith that is on the edge. That faith that is radical.

This poor widow gave her all! She gave EVERYTHING she had to live on. Now she is living on faith. How incredible is that? I want a faith like that. I wish I knew her name. She would be a person I would name my future daughter after.

30 Days in the Word Day 16

After I finish reading scripture, and I begin to type up my blog post for the day, I sometimes feel as if I have nothing else to say. After reading God's word and being amazed and thrilled by it, I don't think I could ever say anything that is more inspiring or awesome. How could anything I write be of any significance after reading such words? I feel like I should just hand all of my readers a Bible and smile and walk away.


Mark 12:18-27

Then the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. "Teacher," they said, "Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother. Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last of all, the woman died too. At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?" Jesus replied, "Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the book of Moses, in the account of the bush, how God said to him, 'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!"

Have you ever thought about what heaven is like? I sure have. I have always tried to imagine it and wondered what it would look like, what I would do, who I would see ect. One thing Jesus makes clear in this passage is that when we are in heaven we will not have spouses. We will not be intimate with anyone. When I first heard this I thought it would be rather awkward for people. You were married on earth, but now you are in heaven and your husband or wife is there and now...you aren't married? But Jesus explains that our intimacy will be with God! We will be like angels. We are past all of this marraige business. That was a thing of the past...a pre course in what heaven would look like. You know how it is said that the Church is the Bride of Christ? Well here we are. We (the church) will be in heaven with our Groom. Finally together completely and totally without any separation. How awesome is that? How amazing is that thought? But it's even better than you can every imagine. Just wait and see.

30 Days in the Word Day 15

Mark 11:22-26 NIV
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

THE MESSAGE
Jesus was matter-of-fact: "Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you. This mountain, for instance: Just say, 'Go jump in the lake'—no shuffling or shilly-shallying—and it's as good as done. That's why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you'll get God's everything. And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it's not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive—only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins."

The message version really made me understand Jesus's point. I love the term "God-life". It makes me think of a life really lived for God; a life of faith. I want a faith like that.

Jesus says to pray about EVERYTHING. Do you do that? Do you pray about the little things? Do you give praises? Are you thankful? Or do you just pray about the big stuff and think God wouldn't care about the rest? Or do you just pray when bad things happen?

I also love the phrase: "assuming the posture of prayer". My mom always tells me to have good posture, but I never thought of prayer this way. This means making prayer a habit! Making it a daily, hour by hour, minute by minute, moment by moment thing! Live in prayer. Be talking to God constantly. I can speak from experience that this is such a wonderful thing...to have God right next to you every second of your day, just telling him everything on your heart and mind. It makes you more aware of what you are saying and doing and how you are acting around others.

Prayer isn't just asking for things. It is thanksgiving. It is repenting. It is worship.

30 Days in the Word Day 14

The past couple weeks have been hard. God has been revealing things in my heart that need to be changed. He's working in me constantly, showing me things that I need to work on and speaking to me through his word; Which is awesome, but it is difficult as well. I am not a person who embraces change easily.

I woke up this morning to an email: Philippians 2:13 "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."

This encouraged me so much! It describes exactly what I am going through. God is working in me; and it is hard, it is tough, but He is preparing me. He is giving me the desire and the power to do what pleases him. And I know it. I feel it. It excites me.

After recieving this email I decided to read Philippians chapter 2. I found exactly what God has been telling me and showing me lately.

In verses 3-8 it says: "Do nothing out of selfish ambitions or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should not only look to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!"

Christ was humble enough to lower himself to our level. He came to earth, when he belongs in heaven away from sin. He became Human even though he is God of the universe. He came in humility. He made himself nothing. He was a servant, and that is how I am supposed to be.

Philippians 2:14-15
"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe."

This generation is sinful and depraved and evil. As a Christ follower I should stand out. I should be different. I should not conform to the ways of the world. I should serve as Christ did. I should be pure. I should be a light in this darkness. I want to be all of thses things. I want to shine like stars in the universe.

30 Days in the Word Day 13

Jeremiah 3:1 "If a man divorces his wife and she leaves him and marries another man, should he return to her again? Would not the land be completely defiled? But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers— would you now return to me?" declares the LORD.

I stopped short as I read the first verse of this chapter in Jeremiah. How could I just keep reading after that? I had to stop and gawk. Wow. I think God just used a two by four to smack me in the face.

I have never thought of myself as a prostitute...far from it. But isn't that what we are? We are just prostitutes. We have gone from one thing to another replacing God, who is supposed to be our first love. I have replaced him with friends, family, objects, internet, facebook, addictions, lust, books, makeup, movies, tv shows, my phone, myself...I could go on and on.

I have had many lovers. How can I even begin to be worthy of God? How can I come to him and not be horribly ashamed? How can I face him? How can I speak to him? How can I call him father when I have replaced him so many times?

Jeremiah 3:19-20
"I myself said, 'How gladly would I treat you like sons and give you a desirable land, the most beautiful inheritance of any nation.' I thought you would call me 'Father' and not turn away from following me. But like a woman unfaithful to her husband, so you have been unfaithful to me, O house of Israel," declares the LORD

He wants to be our father. He wants us to be his children. He wants to give us so much that we don't even deserve. When we turn away from him, he wants us back. He wants us. He is waiting for us. Let us fall at his feet..

30 Days in the Word Day 12

"You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:42-45

I am called to be like Jesus. Jesus was a servant. He is Lord of all, yet he came down to earth to be with and serve sinners. He didn't come to be served. He came to serve. He gave His life for me; for everyone.

He is the greatest of everyone ever. Yet he chooses to serve. It is incredible. I am called to be like that. I am called to be that humble and to serve others.

30 Days in the Word Day 11

Mark 10:17-31

"As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. "Good teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good—except God alone. 19You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.'" "Teacher," he declared, "all these I have kept since I was a boy." Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!" The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, "Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." The disciples were even more amazed, and said to each other, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Peter said to him, "We have left everything to follow you!" "I tell you the truth," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first."

Has God every asked you to give something up for Him? It's hard. I know. It can be so difficult to lay down worldly things and follow Jesus. The message version says that the man "...was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go." What is holding you back from following Christ? What do you need to let go of?

30 days in the Word day 10

God never stops reminding me...

Today I read Mark 9:33-37. That's all I had to read.

"They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, "What were you arguing about on the road?" But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." He took a little child and had him stand among them. Taking him in his arms, he said to them, "Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."

I love attention. I crave it. It may not seem apparent at times because of my natural shyness, or maybe it seems quite obvious...

I also love to win. I am very competitive.

Hearing the command to be the "servant of all" is a hard thing to hear. Servant of ALL? As in everyone? Jesus says if I want to be first, I must be last. If I want to win, I must put others first.

The Lord has really been telling me this in my heart lately. He keeps reiterating it in His Word and in my every day life.

It's okay if I do not recieve the cream of the crop. It's not about me. It is about Him. And by putting others before myself, Jesus says I am putting Him first as well. If I help the least of these, I am helping Him.

Lord I know you are working in my heart. I want to change for you. Help me.

30 Days in the Word Day 9

Most children are afraid of monsters under their beds or in their closets. When I was little, I was afraid of demons and Satan in the dark abysses of my bedroom.

As a kid, I had a wild imagination; sometimes scaring myself out of my wits. I remember trying to get to sleep at night but being afraid and seeing things. Maybe it was just my imagination, maybe not. I would pull the covers close to me and sing the song based off of 2 Timothy 1:7 that my mom taught me. "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but He has given unto us, a spirit of power, a spirit of love, and a sound mind."

I was very aware that Jesus, Heaven, and angels existed, but I was also aware that Satan, Hell, and Demons existed. This is something that isn't talked about very much in the church nowadays, that I can tell. I haven't heard much about it.

Jesus drove out several demons from people in the Gospels. People were possessed by them. It was real. It was scary. One event in mark chapter 9 verses 17-30 was this:

"A man in the crowd answered, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."
"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?" "From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil[a] spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again." The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up. After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, "Why couldn't we drive it out?" He replied, "This kind can come out only by prayer."

This man had been taking care of his son for a long time. The boy had almost died several times because of the demon. I can't imagine living with someone like that...someone i love dearly, watching them helplessly. And then to have the disciples of this great man fail in healing him...it would have been despairing. It would have taken great faith to still believe. And He needed help. He said "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" He still had faith. He was still so desperate for his son to be healed. He yelled this, clinging to what faith he had left. And his son was healed.

We all have to yell that at some point in our lives. We all need a little help in our faith. Satan can make us doubt. But God can help us overcome this unbelief.

30 Days in the Word Day 8

I apologize for yesterday's blog being just verses and no input from myself. But I hope you meditated on it and thought about what was said. Those verses are incredibly challenging..

Denying myself is such a difficult challenge for me. But Jesus says this MUST be done if I want to follow Him. And do I want to follow Him? Oh Yeah. No question about it. But it is super hard. It is hard for me to let Jesus into the driver's seat. I want to know what's going on. I want to make the decisions. I want to be in control. ...But it's not about what I want. That's just another part of denying myself.

Jesus says not to run from suffering. He says to embrace it. Wow. What a radical statement. Embrace suffering? Talk about an uncomfortable bear hug... How can I learn to do that?? Jesus says follow Him and He will show me how. But I need to deny myself. I need to stop being selfish.

There is always that first step you need to take... It may be just letting someone else do all the talking and just listening for once. It may be opening a door for someone. It may be being patient. It may be taking the time out of your day to call up a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. Usually it is taking time out of your schedule..out of what you have planned..because God usually has something better planned.

People don't like taking the time for someone else...they call it wasting time. No..not being patient or building character..but wasting and frivilous and dragging. This is including myself. I am human. I do care about myself and it is human nature. But I am not of this world. I do not belong here. I belong to Jesus. I do not want to be great in the world's eyes...I want to be seen as great in the Lord's eyes. What good is it for me to gain the whole world...but lose my soul?

30 days in the word day 7

Mark 8:31-38 (NIV)
"He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. "Get behind me, Satan!" he said. "You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."


THE MESSAGE:

"It is necessary that the Son of Man proceed to an ordeal of suffering, be tried and found guilty by the elders, high priests, and religion scholars, be killed, and after three days rise up alive." He said this simply and clearly so they couldn't miss it. But Peter grabbed him in protest. Turning and seeing his disciples wavering, wondering what to believe, Jesus confronted Peter. "Peter, get out of my way! Satan, get lost! You have no idea how God works." Calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for? "If any of you are embarrassed over me and the way I'm leading you when you get around your fickle and unfocused friends, know that you'll be an even greater embarrassment to the Son of Man when he arrives in all the splendor of God, his Father, with an army of the holy angels."

30 Days in the Word Day 6

The last month and a half I have doubted the power of love. I knew God loved me. But was it really possible for anyone else to? Or for me to really love anyone else? But, the last month and a half God has been showing me His word and His take on love. Guess what? It's real.

It seems whenever I read scripture in Bible studies or youth groups or at church we come across love...love God..love others. This was something that stuck out to me yet again this past sunday. And I thought "Oh. I have heard that before..." God is probably up in heaven saying "YOU THINK!"

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 5:1-2 NIV)

"Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that." (Ephesians 5:1-2 THE MESSAGE)

That is an extraordinary command. Watch God. You are the child. He is your father. He knows what He is doing. Imitate Him. Learn a life of love.

I think that is what God wants from me right now; To learn a life of love. God is saying, "Stop thinking about only yourself. Stop wallowing in your own sorrow. Stop doubting what you know is true. Start thinking of others. Start being selfless. Start thinking about what others need."

I've been thinking about the second greatest command in the Bible. The first is love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, and strength. The second is love your neighbor as yourself. As yourself? A lot of people say you need to be able to love yourself first before you can start loving you neighbor. But you already love yourself! It's not something that you need to work on. When you are hungry, you go eat food. When you are tired, you sleep. When you are dirty, you take a shower. We love ourselves quite enough; perhaps a little too much sometimes. We spend countless hours worrying about OURselves and taking care of OUR needs. By loving our neighbor as ourselves, we are thinking of their needs as much as we think of ours. Worrying about them and taking care of them as much as we do ourselves.

I need to spend my time learning to live a life of love and selflessness. I want to be like Jesus and imitate him. I pray the Lord gives me wisdom. Ephesians 5:15-17 (NIV) says: "Be very careful then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."

The message says: "So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times! Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants."

Live a life of love.

30 Days in the Word Day 5

Have you ever asked God for a sign? Have you ever been so desperate that or even angry, that you shouted to the heaves, "Give me a sign! Send a miracle!" I know I have done this. I know many people who have done this and still do this.

That's God's job right?...To give us signs and miracles and help us along with our faith. No, I don't think that is His job.

Mark 8:11-12: "The Pharisees came and began to question Jesus. To test him, they asked him for a sign from heaven. He sighed deeply and said, 'Why does this generation ask for a miraculous sign? I tell you the truth, no sign will be given to it.'"

Are we that selfish? That we demand signs whenever we please? Does God give us signs? Yes. I know this. I have seen them. But when we ask, are we asking humbly? Are we asking graciously? Or are we testing God?

30 Days in the Word Day 4

Jeremiah 2:23-35 says: "How can you say, 'I am not defiled; I have not run after the Baals'? See how you behaved in the valley; consider what you have done. You are a swift she-camel running here and there, a wild donkey accustomed to the desert, sniffing the wind in her craving—in her heat who can restrain her? Any males that pursue her need not tire themselves; at mating time they will find her. Do not run until your feet are bare and your throat is dry. But you said, 'It's no use! I love foreign gods, and I must go after them.' "As a thief is disgraced when he is caught, so the house of Israel is disgraced—they, their kings and their officials, their priests and their prophets. They say to wood, 'You are my father,' and to stone, 'You gave me birth.' They have turned their backs to me and not their faces; yet when they are in trouble, they say, 'Come and save us!' Where then are the gods you made for yourselves? Let them come if they can save you when you are in trouble!For you have as many gods as you have towns, O Judah. "Why do you bring charges against me? You have all rebelled against me," declares the LORD. "In vain I punished your people; they did not respond to correction. Your sword has devoured your prophets like a ravening lion. "You of this generation, consider the word of the LORD : "Have I been a desert to Israel or a land of great darkness? Why do my people say, 'We are free to roam; we will come to you no more'? Does a maiden forget her jewelry, a bride her wedding ornaments? Yet my people have forgotten me, days without number. How skilled you are at pursuing love! Even the worst of women can learn from your ways. On your clothes men find the lifeblood of the innocent poor, though you did not catch them breaking in. Yet in spite of all this you say, 'I am innocent; he is not angry with me.' but I will pass judgment on you because you say, 'I have not sinned.'"

God is telling Jeremiah what to say to Israel in these verses. Israel is far from God. This passage reminds me of this culture. We worship other things besides God...cell phones, texting, facebook, money, power, the internet, celebrities, porn, friends, television, fashion, fame, ect. We call them "father" and "Lord" and "god". We might not even notice it.

And yet, whenever we are in trouble we call out to God to help us and to save us. God is pointing out how stupid israel is; how they have fallen away from God and how they have replaced him. They are hypocrites and fools. It breaks my heart to read this. Is He really talking about israel?

Is this generation the new israel?

30 Days in the Word Day 3

Tonight these verses challenged me.

Mark 7:5-23 "So the Pharisees and teachers of the law asked Jesus, "Why don't your disciples live according to the tradition of the elders instead of eating their food with 'unclean' hands?" He replied, "Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: " 'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.' You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men." And he said to them: "You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your mother,' and, 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' But you say that if a man says to his father or mother: 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is Corban' (that is, a gift devoted to God), then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother. Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that." Again Jesus called the crowd to him and said, "Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean.' " After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. "Are you so dull?" he asked. "Don't you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him 'unclean'? For it doesn't go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body." (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods "clean.") He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' "

This is amazing stuff. I love when Jesus speaks. It is so forthright and challenging and in your face. The pharisees really tick Him off. The message version was pretty awesome too:

"The Pharisees and religion scholars asked, "Why do your disciples flout the rules, showing up at meals without washing their hands?" Jesus answered, "Isaiah was right about frauds like you, hit the bull's-eye in fact:
These people make a big show of saying the right thing, but their heart isn't in it. They act like they are worshiping me, but they don't mean it. They just use me as a cover for teaching whatever suits their fancy, Ditching God's command and taking up the latest fads."
He went on, "Well, good for you. You get rid of God's command so you won't be inconvenienced in following the religious fashions! Moses said, 'Respect your father and mother,' and, 'Anyone denouncing father or mother should be killed.' But you weasel out of that by saying that it's perfectly acceptable to say to father or mother, 'Gift! What I owed you I've given as a gift to God,' thus relieving yourselves of obligation to father or mother. You scratch out God's Word and scrawl a whim in its place. You do a lot of things like this." Jesus called the crowd together again and said, "Listen now, all of you— take this to heart. It's not what you swallow that pollutes your life; it's what you vomit—that's the real pollution." When he was back home after being with the crowd, his disciples said, "We don't get it. Put it in plain language." Jesus said, "Are you being willfully stupid? Don't you see that what you swallow can't contaminate you? It doesn't enter your heart but your stomach, works its way through the intestines, and is finally flushed." (That took care of dietary quibbling; Jesus was saying that all foods are fit to eat.) He went on: "It's what comes out of a person that pollutes: obscenities, lusts, thefts, murders, adulteries, greed, depravity, deceptive dealings, carousing, mean looks, slander, arrogance, foolishness—all these are vomit from the heart. There is the source of your pollution."

What comes out of my mouth that is unclean? What do I vomit? What do I show people?

Am I talking the talk, but also walking the walk? Do I really worship? Or do I just go through the motions? Is my heart close to God? Do I really mean what I say? Do I put God first? Am I conformed to the world?

30 Days In the Word Day 2

What if God spoke to you right now? What if He spoke to you loud and clear? What if He said, "*your name*, I knew you before you were even born. I formed you in your mother's womb and I knew who you were going to become because I set you apart from everyone else and I have wonderful plans for you." And the, what if He began to tell you those plans and what He wanted you to do? What would you say? What would you do?

I would probably be amazed and enthralled and speechless honestly. It awes me just thinking about it. If it happened I would probably cry or faint because I'd be so overcome. But I would wonder, why me? Why did you set me apart? Why do you have this plan for me? I'm only 17. I'm only a little girl, a teenager.

This is exactly what Jeremiah said when it happened to Him. God spoke to Him and told Him all of this and He told him that he is annointed as a prophet. Jeremiah said: "Ah, Sovereign Lord, I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." (Jeremiah 1:6)But God rebuked Him: "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command to you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you." (1:7-8)

Ahhhh!! God's going to send me to people and I have to listen and obey exactly? What if I forget what to say? What if the people don't like me or what I have to say? What if they want to hurt me or kill me? Is God crazy?? But He says do not be afraid. He says He will be beside me no matter what and He will rescue me. He says He will tell me what to say and when to say it.

We can't use excuses because God uses EVERYONE; even children. Don't say you aren't the right guy because God chose YOU. Don't say you don't know how to speak because God will give you the words to say. After God told Jeremiah not to say that he is just a child, God then reaches out His hand and touches Jeremiah's mouth and tells him that He has now put His words into his mouth. How cool and crazy is that? God hand-delivered His words. Excuses are not allowed with God because nothing is impossible without Him, so there shouldn't be any excuses. Just say yes sir, because you will always succeed with Him. God doesn't just have a plan for Jeremiah. He has a plan for every single one of us. God's plan for Jeremiah was to be a prophet. And God has a plan for ME and for YOU too.

Jeremiah 1:17-19 says: "Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. Today I ahve made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land--aggainst the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests and the people of the land. They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with yhou and will rescue you," declares the Lord."

How amazing is that? How awesome is our God? Yes, awesome.

30 Days in the Word Day 1

When I first made this blog I had to choose a URL. I wanted thirtydays.blogspot.com. But unfortunately it was taken. I had to think of something else that had thirty days in it..thirty day of...what? I didn't know what else I was going to write about on here besides my fast from facebook. I finally came to the conclusion of making it thirtydaysofyou. You being Jesus :) 30 Days of fasting from things that I have placed before Him in my life. So during those 30 days I would place Jesus in front of that thing and talk to Him, spend time with Him, and read His word instead of doing that thing that I was placing before Him in my life.

I thought the title was fitting, but I still was halfway upset that just plain thirty days was taken. A couple weeks ago I decided to look up the thirty days blog and find this scoundrel who stole my URL. His blog would probably be something completely lame right? Then I would fume and brag to myself about how much better my blog was and how I should deserve that URL that I wanted.

So I looked at the site. It was a blog made in 2003 by a guy named mike. This of course I fumed about. "He doesn't even write in it anymore! Why can't he delete it!" But then I saw the title of the blog and it caught my eye: Thirty Days in the Word. I began reading on day one. I noticed 2 things right away: #1: Mike was a Christian. #2: Mike was in college most likely. And later I noticed something else: Mike was really cool.

Mike explained the purpose of the blog in his first post. He said that God had been speaking to Him a lot lately about digging into His word. He gave this verse that he read in his bible study that he felt backed up what God was saying to him. Colossians 3:16: "Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God."

Mike said: " I spend a lot of time reading, and I spend a lot of time reading good, Christian books. The Lord spoke to my heart and said, "Instead of spending all your time reading what others write about me, why not read what I have written about myself!""

He went on to say that he was committing to reading the Bible and only the Bible for thirty days (except for the minimum amount of reading for school and work). The rest of his blog posts were about what he was reading and learning. The best part was that he was so excited about it! I became excited and pumped up reading his blog.

About 3/4 of the way through his 30 days, he posted saying that he would not be posting on the blog anymore because the journey had become so intensely personal. He said that the Lord was showing Him and doing many things in his life that were blessings, just not to be shared on a public forum.

After I read all of his posts, I did not feel bad about my URL, nor was I angry about Mike "stealing" mine.

Reading his blog made me happy and glad that someone else had done that and had God work in their life in amazing ways. I was happy and excited about it, but that was pretty much it.

Around that time I had begun to read "Dug Down Deep" by Joshua Harris. It is a book about unearthing what you believe and why it matters. Josh talks about having a foundation on the Word in your life. I wrote about it here.

I mentioned this book a few times in my blogs. During that time I really began to think about what my foundation was or if I even had a foundation. I am supposed to hid the word of God in my heart right? When was the last time I memorized a Bible verse? I began to ask myself these questions and I soon realized that that was something I desperately needed to work on.

In April I made myself a spring/summer reading list that I had planned to finish before I began college. I wrote about it on my other blog. It is an intense list I have to admit. All of the books are Christain nonfiction. The ones I have read are hard and challenging books that bring up difficult stuff. It was a great idea for me to read them. But I am sorry, it's not going to happen, at least not this summer.

I watched the book of Eli a couple weeks ago not long after I read the thirty days blog. I wrote a blog post on it as well that had to do with this subject.

Out of all of this, I felt that God was telling me that I needed to have a foundation; that I needed to learn about Him and about His word and be firmly set in my faith and my beliefs. I am going off to college in a little over a month. I am going to be tested. Will I fall? Or will I stand on the foundation of my beliefs?

So here I am again. 30 days before me. I'm on day one. Thirty days in the word. I plan on reading Mark and Jeremiah, unless the Lord takes me somewhere else. I never know what to expect with Him ;)

30 Days Faceless Day 30

I have come to the end of my facebook fast.

30 days without facebook.

720 hours faceless.

It was extremely irritating at times, I have to admit. But it was also extrememly freeing. Do you know the feeling when you realize you don't actually have to do something and you are free to do many other things that make you feel so much more accomplished and happy? Well, that's how it feels.

During this time I have realized that I can live without facebook. If, for some reason, the creators of this social networking site decided to shut it down, I wouldn't die. If I can go thirty days, I can go a lifetime. Besides, I did spend the first fourteen years of my life without it.

Up until this year, I have never really fasted from anything before. Once, when I was little, I fasted from lunch. I told my mom that God wanted me to. Being a constantly ravenous child, I am sure this was difficult for me at the time. But I don't remember other times I have fasted. A few years ago I did the thirty hour famine, but it wasn't a highlight in my life.

In April God spoke to me and told me to fast from makeup. Ever since then I have been striving to look more like Him. I have been striving to deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Him; denying my selfish desires and trying to put Him first in my life. I am not going to lie. It is stinkin hard. But Jesus never said it would be easy, He just said it would be worth it.

I had thought about taking a break from this blog for a while, but God searched my heart again. And I will be starting another 30 days of something new. I will write about that tomorrow.

As for facebook, I will limit myself to a max of 30 minutes a day for starters. I might realize that this is even too much.

30 Days Faceless Day 29

Think of a time when someone told you a secret. They told you not to tell anyone else. I know this has happened to me dozens of times. When I was younger I was obsessed with "secrets". You could say this is what meant that me and someone else were true friends. A secret would be told. This is when we knew, or we hoped we did, that that the other person would be trustworthy and not tell anyone. Most of the time, the secrets were about boys; who we liked at that time or who we thought was cute. And other secrets were just gossip; rumors about who liked who.

When I was younger, it was easy to keep secrets. I was probably the most trustworthy person I knew. But if someone asked me to keep a secret from my best friend at that time, I was doomed. I told her everything. I almost died once in her bedroom because I was bursting at the seams to tell her a secret from someone else. It wasn't because I wanted to blackmail that other person, or be unloyal. It was because I was so used to not ever being on a leash with my tongue with my best friend. I could trust her with anything. And she could trust me. We could spend days with eachother and never become sick of the other person. We talked constantly.

As I grew older, I began to keep more things to myself. This is probably because as I grew older, more serious things began to happen in my life. Serious sin as well. Some things were kept secret at all costs. I didn't even tell one person.

I once heard that perhaps it would be better for the world if everyone's sins were broadcasted on the news for all to see. What if your deepest secrets; your sins that no one knows about, or few people know about, were on the evening news? What if they were described in detail, revealing all of the times you lied, cheated, stole, disobeyed, and gossiped. They even talked about your envious desires and lustful thoughts.

What if everyone knew everyone's sin? I think sometimes we are so guilty, embarrassed, or shameful of our sin that we are afraid to tell anyone. Maybe it was a past sin or maybe it is an ongoing addiction or struggle that we just can't bring ourselves to talk about with anyone. Trust me. It is so much better to tell someone. Don't tell just anyone. Tell someone you know you can trust.

Keeping secrets gets old after a while.


"For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open." Mark 4:22

30 Days Faceless Day 28

"Another time he went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, "Stand up in front of everyone." Then Jesus asked them, "Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?" But they remained silent. He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus." Mark 3:1-6

Again, this is part of the Bible I read and just say...this is ridiculous. "Don't work on the sabbath". So you can't heal a crippled man?? Why would anyone be that legalistic? Why would anyone be so focused on the rules? This seems proposterous right? What evil person would do that?

But then I think, how many times have I done that? How many times do I get so focused on all of the rules, that I forget to love? I forget to put all of what I read in scripture into practice.

We look at the pharisees and think how stupid and selfish and legalistic they are. But it's different whenever we think of it in perspective of our own lives.

Romans 13:8-10 says: "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."

30 Days Faceless day 27

In Mark Chapter 2, Jesus is questioned by people. They asked him why was it that John's disciples and the Pharisees fasted, but Jesus' disciples were not. Jesus' answer was this: "How can the guests of the bridegroom fast while he is with them? They cannot, so long as they have him with them. But the time will ome when the bridegroom will be taken from them, and on that day they will fast."
(verses 18-20)
What is fasting? Well, generally, it is going without something. In this text, it is food. But you don't have to fast from food. You can fast from a variety of things. Fasting is a challenge because it is giving up something you really like. I could fast from playing video games...but that wouldn't do anything for me, since I don't even play them.
When you fast, you give up something that is taking the place of God in your life. Maybe it is keeping you from reading your Bible everyday, or from sharing the Gospel, or from praying, or from meditating and listening to God.
But that is not the end of it. You not only give it up, you put God in place of that thing. The time you spent on the thing you are fasting from, now becomes God's time with you.
It is an amazing thing to do; something that will bring you incredibly close to God.

This is why Jesus' disciples did not fast. They were already there with Jesus Christ; doing His work, talking with him, listening to Him, and learning from him. Jesus said there will be a time after He leaves that the disciples will fast.

Jesus wants us to fast. No, this is not a constant thing we are supposed to do. But it keeps our focus on God. It is a type of worship; showing Him that He is all that we Need and want; that we would give up stuff for Him.

30 Days Faceless Day 26

Like many people, when Clash of the Titans came out in theaters a few months ago, I went to see it. I spent my hard earned cash and had good entertainment with friends. I know it is kind of late for a movie review, but some things stuck out to me in this movie and I just haven't remembered to write them down. I am continually reminded of it.

This movie is about the mortal son of the god Zeus. The whole movie is about people rebelling against the gods; destroying temples, statues, idols, not praying, ect. First of all, yes Zeus's son is mortal. Why? Because Zeus got a mortal woman pregnant. He did this to get revenge on a mortal man. The gods in this film become powerless because of man's unwillingness to pray. It seems that prayer fuels the gods, or something like that.

This all seems ridiculous to me. They are gods...and yet they need man to survive? It is so utterly and completely different from the One True God. God doesn't need us. It is the complete opposite. We need Him! Our prayers do not fuel Him, or keep him alive in any way. He keeps us alive. God would never use any of us. He wouldn't take out revenge on you by sleeping with your wife. He is holy, perfect, and righteous.

It blows my mind how people actually used to worship these gods. And how some people worship gods like this today. It also amazes me how we as humans think we are above God. We think we can rebel against Him and cause Him some sort of harm. But the Lord God cannot be hurt by us. He is invincible. And if we rebel, he is more than capable of handling our little temper tantrums. We soon realize what we really need. Or, I hope.

30 Days Faceless Day 25

Have you ever read the Bible and thought "this is ridiculous". I know I have.

In Mark chapter one, Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilea. He saw two brothers, who were fishermen, casting their nets into the sea. He called out to them "Come, follow me and I will make you fisher's of men." They dropped their nets and everything they were doing, and followed him. Again this happened further down the shore as Jesus kept walking. He saw two more fishermen who were casting nets with thier father. He called out to them and they dropped what they were doing, left their father with the hired men in the boat, and followed him.

Now, am I the only one who sees this as crazy? These men didn't even know Jesus. He was a stranger to them. He wasn't well known yet at all. He was just a carpenter's son and few knew him.

If I was at my job, at the java house, and some stranger came in that I have never seen before, and told me to follow him, I would have raised my eyebrows and thought he was insane. I would not have followed him.

What about the two men's father who they were with? I bet he was thrilled...his sons just left without a word and folllowed some stranger. He must have thought they were rebellious, ungrateful sons.

Why did they do it? Why did they drop everything for someone they never met?

30 Days Faceless Day 24

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me'." Matthew 16:24

What is denying yourself? It is not a term that we are familiar with here in the 21st century, in America. We have stuff. We have plenty. We are never satisfied. We always want more. Denying our selfish desires and wants is not something high on our to do list, or something that even enters our minds.

Denying ourself means denying our own selfish desires. It means not doing what we want, and doing what God wants instead. It means putting God first in our lives; not letting things or people take His place. What are you placing before God?

In Luke 14, Jesus told a parable about a man who was preparing a great banquet. He invited many guests and sent a servant to give them the invitations. But all of them had excuses: "I just bought a field, so I must go and see it", "I just bought five yoke of oxen and I must try them out", and "I just got married, I can't come."
When the servant came back and reported this to his master the master was angry. He ordered his servant to go into the streets and invite anyone and everyone: the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame. Still there was room in his house, so he sent his servant out onto the roads and country lanes until his house was full of guests.

Honestly I never understood this parable. I never thought it was a big deal. But last night I finally saw the big picture. At the beginning of the story Jesus says: "Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the Kingdom of God." Jesus has a feast prepared for us. He is opening is house to us and preparing a great banquet. He has invited every single one of us. He wants us to be in a relationship with Him, He wants us to read His word, He wants us to talk to Him and spend time with Him. But how many times have we made excuses? I know the excuses in Luke are somewhat outdated and not applicable. But what about instead of just buying a field you say, "I just bought the new iphone 4...sorry God", or instead of oxen, "I just got a new car and I have to test it out", or "I just don't have time", "I'm busy", "I have plans with a friend", "I have to harvest my crops on farmville", "I'm texting"....when will we stop giving excuses?

Last night I heard someone speak on this subject. He got down on his knees and begged us to follow Jesus. He begged us. It made tears come into my eyes. This man was on fire and he was passionate and he wanted us to be too.

Last year I heard a man I greatly admire give a talk. It was heartfelt and real and trasparent. He had nothing to hide. He was truly a man after God's own heart. And his desire was for us to be that way too. At the end of it he said, "Follow me as I follow Christ." That is something I wish I could say.

30 Days Faceless Day 23

I have 16 days left of my childhood. In sixteen days, I will be eighteen, an "adult". I am not exactly looking foward to it. So I looked up what I can do when I turn eighteen that I couldn't before, to make me become more excited.

The list included: I can buy tobacco, get a tattoo, buy spray paint, sue someone, be sued, get married, get into clubs, buy a lottery ticket, apply for a loan, get a blockbuster membership, enlist in the military, go to jail, become an undercover cop, change my name, get a credit card, become a stripper, rent a house, enter almost any sweepstakes, buy stuff on infomercials, rent a port-a-potty, drive an ice cream truck, buy a house, pay taxes, get a pay-pal account, get or give a lap dance, drive a company vehicle, carry a weapon (with a license), buy insurance, skydive, and gamble.

YES! NOW I am excited! I mean wouldn't you be? I can smoke and spit tobacco, become a stripper and give people lap dances, change my name to Lucinda, become an undercover cop, drive an ice cream truck while carrying a gun, gamble, then marry someone and buy a house with all the money I won!

I am very sorry. But this is still not exciting. I don't plan on doing most of those things. I will probably buy a lottery ticket and get a membership at blockbuster. I have to apply for a loan, but other than that, I don't have aspirations for any of these "awesome" "adult" things. I had to laugh when I was researching this topic. The question was on yahoo answers. The answers were...interesting to say the least. One of the answers was "You can have sex with anyone you want and they won't go to jail." Another answer was, "Go to jail...be careful." A lot of answers were: "You can do anything you want! Except buy liquor and rent a car." Are these people really excited about this? I am sorry. I am not.

As some would say: "Welcome to the real world Ali".

I wonder if it's better to live in ignorance than know the ins and outs of this fallen world. That is why I miss being a child. Everything was peachy and you had everything in the world to look forward to. "Freedom" means different things to everyone. I suppose that to some, it is moving out of the house, getting a tattoo, and doing whatever you want. To most, it is getting away with as much as possible. But if that's freedom, keep me in chains.

30 Days Faceless Day 23

Have you ever noticed the many instances in the Bible with faith and water?

Jesus was on a boat with His disciples. A big storm came and the disciples were freaking out, but Jesus was fast asleep. They woke him and He calmed the storm. They were amazed. Jesus asked them where their faith was (Matthew 8).

When the israelites were slaves, God told Moses to have Aaron stretch out his staff over the Nile so that it would be turned into blood (Exodus 7). Aaron and Moses had to have faith that God would do it.

Jesus walked on water to the boat where His disciples were. The disciples were frightened and thought he was a ghost. Peter called out to Him, showing faith. Jesus told Him to come out onto the water and he did. But he saw the waves and doubted. Jesus pulled him out and called him "you of little faith" (Matthew 14).

Moses' mother had faith that God would save her son. She placed Him in a basket and set him in the Nile River. God saved Moses (Exodus 2).

Noah built an ark when God told him to, even though he didn't even know what an ark was. He didn't even know what rain was. But God saved him and his family from the flood (Genesis 6-7).

Moses parted the red sea with God's help, having faith that God would deliver the israelites(Exodus 14).

Jesus was at a wedding and they ran out of wine. He told the servants to bring Him jars of water and they did it, even though it probably sounded crazy. They needed wine, not water. But then Jesus turned the water into wine(John 2).

The israelites were out in the desert and did not have any water. Moses struck the rock as God commanded and water poured out of it (Exodus 17).

The subject of faith is talked about many times in the Bible with the context with water.
Faith is being sure of what I hope for, and certain of what I do not see (Hebrews 11:1). Faith is the foundation for what I believe.
Water often symbolizes purity and cleansing or baptism in the BIble.

Hebrews 10:22-23 says: "let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."

I think these last verses capture the connection between faith and water very well.

30 Days Faceless Day 22

I did it. No facebook today. woohoo. go me. the end

30 Days Faceless Day 21

A lot of change is happening in my life. Everything is new. I am in unfamiliar, uncharted territory. I am nervous. I am frightened. And sometimes it can become discouraging. Tonight I read these verses:

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:8-9

Wherever I go, whether it be just outside my house, a completely different city or state, or any new unfamiliar place, God will be with me. He commands me to be strong and courageous. That command is easier said than done. But the end of the verse is encouragement for that command. God is with me; therefore, I should be strong and courageous and neither scared nor discouraged. I have God on my side.

30 Days Faceless Day 20

Every saturday morning at the java house I work at, we serve swedish pancakes, homeade by Danny our head barista. I am his official helper. I place the pancakes on the plate, and put whatever the customer wants on there (whip cream, strawberries, butter, syrup, or lingonberries). To sum it all up, I make them look pretty.

Danny may flip the pancakes off of the pans and they may be twisted, broken, ripped, and even torn apart. But I know the secret to making it all look scrumptious and delightful. I was thinking about this as I was working this morning. Danny always lets me know when one ripped, "Oh! That is a mess. But I know you'll make it look pretty! They'll never know!" I am, afterall, that good.

So, I began to think about my job of making a messed up pancake look pretty. I hide it under the other two pancakes on the plate, or I fold it a certain way. I have a perfect technique of making it unseen and unnoticable. But then I thought, how good am I at doing this in real life? When I am messed up and broken and torn, do I just make myself look pretty on the outside and hide my pain or sin inside so no one will see? This is quite a serious thing.

Of course, this isn't a big deal with pancakes. It is food. It all tastes the same no matter what it looks like and it would not be bad if someone found out that the second pancake in their stack wasn't in one piece. But what about life? What about my life?

This is something I want God to search my heart for. Am I a hypocrite? Do I make my outside look pretty for others but leave the real me hidden?

I know this is easy for me to do, especially when I am struggling in pain or difficulties in my life. I hide it all so I won't "burden" anyone with what I am going through. I put on a smile and don't tell a soul. I hold in the tears when all I want to do is cry. I say I am good when I am really not. I tell half truths to get around the conversation that would make me ache again. I make my life look pretty.

30 Days Faceless Day 19

"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away" Luke 21:33

Have you ever thought about the Bible and how it was written? And how there are many different authors and yet it all flows together? God spoke to every author and He has what He wants in the Book. It amazes me. No other book is like it. All of it is God-breathed.

When I open up my Bible, I read it, but it also reads me. Hebrews 4:12-13 says: "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account."

When we read the Bible the Holy Spirit speaks to us, convicts me, and reveals our hearts and inner motives in a way that is incredibly powerful and life changing. I know no other book as influential.

30 Days Faceless Day 18

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21

It's easy to love those who already love us. The hard thing is to love when no one is loving back; loving your "enemies". This is something that has always been hard for me. Usually, I get along with everyone pretty well. But God always places that one person in my life that I don't seem to get along with. You could say that He is trying to tell me what I need to work on. My mom says there will always be that one person.

It is easy to say one sarcastic comment to another person't sarcastic comment, one snide remark to another snide remark...but Romans 12:17-18 says: "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

I remember my mom always quoting verse 18 to my brothers and I. "As far as it depends on YOU, live at peace with everyone." It depends on you, not the other person. There is no excuse...no "but he..." or "but she.." I don't ever see that written in the Bible. Ever.

The message version of verses 17-18 say this: "Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody."

"Discover beauuty in everyone" reminds me of a quote in the movie "Lord, Save us from your Followers". It says: "If you love someone, you will go out of your way to find the best in them."

I love that quote. And it is something that I am trying to keep with me this week, and throughout my life. I'm trying to find the best in everyone, even in my "enemies".

30 Days Faceless Day 17

Have you ever thought about who God is? How big He is? How powerful and awesome He is?

Once, my friend told me that she read that sometimes we get so caught up in one side of God; that He is my dad, my friend, my buddy..that we don't see the big picture. We don't remember everything that He is. He is Holy. He is righteous. He is Lord.

Yes, God is personal, but that doesn't mean He is just like us. J.I. Packer says this: "Our personal life is a finite thing: it is limited in every direction, in space, in time, in knowledge, in power. But God is not so limited. He is eternal, infinite and almighty. He has us in his hands; we never have him in ours. Like us, he is personal; but unlike us, He is great."

It is an amazing priveledge to be able to have a personal relationship with God; The One amazing God who created me. He created everything out of nothing. I was made, but He is the One who made me. It is just so amazing to think about that. I have a relationship with the King of the Universe.

I had a beginning. I was born in 1992. God is eternal. He has always been here and always will. He is the Alpha and Omega.

Psalm 90:2 "Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God."

God is so big. So amazing. So wonderful. He is our Lord, our King, and our Redeemer.

God is great.

30 Days Faceless Day 16

Sometimes it is difficult to know what God's plan is. It's difficult to know if what you want to do is what the Lord wants you to do. Most of the time it is discouraging when you hear the devil trying to convince you that you aren't good enough to do the thing you are trying to do. But for me, it was SO encouraging. If Satan is trying to stop me, it must be for the Lord right?

I'm sorry this is so vague. But I would be extremely thankful for prayer as I go on.

30 Days Faceless Day 15

I've been two weeks without facebook and I am so glad I did this. There are better ways to spend my time and I believe that when my fast is over I will limit myself to how much time I spend on that website each day. Facebook is a good place to communicate with others, but I used it too frequently and aimlessly to where I was just staring at the page going no where.

I think the term "faceless" was actually good for this fast...
I am out of the social loop. I am no longer communicating as much with the world. I am not posting statuses, pictures, or writing on people's walls. People have probably forgotten about me. I have become faceless.

30 Days Faceless Day 14

It is funny how certain sounds come to mean certain things or trigger certain thoughts or reactions...like how the sound of a garage door opening can make you think of your dad coming home. And even when you know it isn't him, you still think of him. Even when you are only two years old, when you think you hear the sound, you come running into the kitchen waiting for him to come in, trying to open the door with your small hands so you can see him...and you don't understand when your mother is saying that it was only the dishwasher.

It is also funny how easily one can forget things...forgetting someone is not home so you are confused when you don't see them. You set the table for five when only four are actually in the house going to eat. The seat next to you at the table feels empty and bare. You say something and can imagine what the missing person would say if they were there. I guess that is what it is like to miss someone.

30 Days Faceless Day 13

Last night I began reading "Dug Down Deep" by Joshua Harris (yes, i know I am obsessed). It is kind of like a journal of him unearthing what he believes and why it matters. In the first chapter he talks about how we are all theologians in some shape or form. We all believe something about God, even if we think he is not real. We all have beliefs and opinions, the question is whether or not what we know about God is true.

Favorite quote of the chapter:

"We're either building our lives on the reality of what God is truly like and what he's about, or we're basing our lives on our own imagination and misconception."

This statement really got to me. We all live our lives based on our beliefs, whether we know it or not, our beliefs effect everything we do and how we live. Do I really know God? Or am I just living based on my own imagination and misconception?

I am excited about reading the rest of this book and reading more of the word as well.

30 Days Faceless Day 12

The past month or so I have been reading Job. I honestly haven't been doing a good job of reading it every day like I wanted. But tonight God was determined I did...and I mean determined. He tugged at my heart, planted the idea in my mind, and even made the show I was watching stop playing. These six verses really stuck out to me.

Job 22:21-27
"Submit to God and be at peace with Him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Accept instruction from His mouth and lay up His words in your heart. If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored: If you remove wickedness far from your tent and assign your nuggets to the dust, your gold of Ophir to the rocks and ravines, then the Almighty will be your gold, the choicest of silvers for you. Surely then you will find delight in the Almighty and will lift up your face to God. You will pray to Him, and He will hear you, and you will fullfill your vows."

30 Days Faceless Day 11

This morning, God spoke to me in a song. Leave You Alone by Chasen. Applied directly to me. God still loves. He's chasing my broken heart.


Hey, would you change your mind today
If I told you love, things would never be the same
Hey, He can take your pain away
Despite your many scars, He'll meet you where you are

I don't want to see you fall away
I can hear you say
You're searching for a healing for these wounds you've made

CHORUS
You'll never have to do this alone
Walking the tightrope and bracing the fall
No matter what you've done this far
He's still chasing your broken heart
He's never gonna leave you alone

Hey, so you act like things are fine
But it's not alright behind those lonely eyes
Hey, you can stop this masquerade
It's such a hollow life, got to give up your pride

I don't want to see you walk away
But I can hear you say
You're searching for an answer here it comes today

You'll never have to do this alone
Walking the tightrope and bracing the fall
No matter what you've done this far
He's still chasing your broken heart
He's never gonna leave you alone


Escape the place you're in
There is hope for you
It's never too late
It’s never too late

You'll never have to do this alone
Walking the tightrope and bracing the fall
No matter what you've done this far
He's still chasing your broken heart
He's never gonna leave you alone

30 Days Faceless Day 10

It is a weird thing when you can relate so well to what someone is talking about. You just want to shake your head yes and jump up and shout:

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!

It can be a good feeling..knowing you aren't alone in something or that someone understands you. But it can also be awful. Because there is no way you will stand up and shout that. There is no way that they will know. There is no way you will have the courage to admit and get over something and move on.

You are stuck. Not in life...life goes on. Stuck in a feeling. A depressing thought. A hurt. A struggle. A painful glimpse of how deep that cut is.

30 Days Faceless Day 9

The last two weeks I have slept very little. I slept very little and worked a LOT. Result: Being extremely tired and yet, unable to sleep. I have had so many things on my mind. Last night I was stressing out over so many things I stayed up past 2am...which was not on purpose since I was planning to meet a friend to walk at 8.

But last night I had a dream. I was put in a situation where I would normally have been jealous, anxious, nervous, and upset. And yet, I was completely calm. I was at peace. It was wonderful.

I believe that God speaks to people through dreams. I believe this whole heartedly. I think God was telling me something in this dream. He wants me to be at peace. He has everything under control. Everything will work out for the good.

Psalm 4:8
"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety"

30 Days Faceless Day 8

Sometimes I feel out of the loop of society. Especially when my mother asks me things about certain events and I don't know what she's talking about. She says: "It was on facebook." Well that explains it.

I am a very social person. I need people. I need friends. I like to talk.

Let me revise that. I love to talk. Probably one of the reasons I decided to postpone my day of silence. I love to go out with friends and plan events and be invited to events.

Right now I just want to scream. TEXT ME PEOPLE!

I feel invisible to the social network of friends, events, and plans.

30 Days Faceless Day 7

I believe I have become more and more cynical this last month and definitely these last two weeks. In these last two weeks, even this last week, my life has changed dramatically from what it was before. And it will continue to change. I hate change.

Ask anyone. I have said "I hate change" so many times. And yet, those times when things change in my life is when I become stronger. It is when I see that I am weak. It is when I rely on Jesus for my strength; he makes me stronger in the end. I grow and mature through change and through difficulties.

Paul says that He rejoices in his sufferings because suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, and character produces hope (Romans 5:3-4).

Sometimes I don't want to have hope. Because it seems that when I hope, it gets dashed to pieces. And maybe it is less horrifying to lose something or not get something when you are not expecting it at all. But verse 5 in Romans 5 contradicts this: "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

30 Days Faceless Day 6

Tonight I watched Pride and Prejudice...the modern version..set in the 21st century.
First of all. I don't recommend the movie. It was badly made and I am afraid that I could have acted better in it. But I did notice something. In the movie, instead of sending telegrams or hand written notes or even letters, there were emails sent and phonecalls made. And it made the movie that much sillier. It felt off and very unlovable. OOOH! He sent her an EMAIL! instead of... OH MY! HE WROTE HER A LETTER!

Technology has made our society so unromantic. When was the last time you wrote a letter? No. Not typed, Hand wrote a letter to someone. I don't hand write often. Especially since I sprained my wrist last fall. Writing seems to be hard on it. But I know I love recieving letters and sentemental notes and just mail in general, which I usually only recieve on birthdays and holidays (cards). Usually on my close friend's and family's birthdays I will write them something about how much they mean to me. But maybe I am just a hopeless, sentemental, romantic.

30 Days Faceless Day 5

When your day is full and busy, there isn't much time for the temptation of facebook. However, when you arrive home after a long day at work, or a busy day of something, it is tempting to relax and sit down and get on the computer and just go around on facebook.

It's a safe zone. No responsiblity. No difficult tasks. And the only pressure that is put on you is whether or not to join a mafia or build a farm...

But there are many more ways to relax that are much more beneficial than staring at a computer screen. For example, earlier this week I took a bath for the first time in a long time. I used this aromatherapy bath soap stuff and it was rather nice.

Praying is another relaxing method. Being thankful while you pray...not just asking for things, but being thankful for the things you have. It puts me in such a better mood.

Have any other ways of relaxing? Let me know. I would be happy to try them.

30 Days Faceless Day 4

The second of crappy Thursdays.

Or at least that is what I thought at about 11:30 this morning while at work. I was a complete blonde in everything I did. An idiot. Not long after I clocked in I gave someone the wrong order (someone else's order) and they drove off, not noticing. I didn't notice either until later. I also threw away a ticket of an order that wasn't complete. Don't ask me where my brain was then. I must have been in lala land.

I also was told I was fired by a six year old. The reason? I robbed a bank. How did he find out? No idea. But I know that I am most defintely NOT underestimating six year olds again.

I wasn't looking forward to work today anyway. Mostly because of an employee I don't seem to get along with that well. But the afternoon went pretty smooth and we closed super fast. So all in all; a pretty okay day.

In other news.

My NIV/The Message Bible came in today! I'm super excited to read it.

Also. My best friend is coming home tonight from a mission trip! I can't wait to see and talk to her. I've missed her very much.



_____________________________________________________________________________________


I am obsessed with facebook statuses. I must think of a million different clever sayings and statements during the day. That is when I get the urge to get on facebook; I have an idea or something clever, and I want to show off to the world about it.

I think I will write them down in a journal from now on and just savor them for myself. Or maybe, I should actually communicate with the real world. Not just through facebook.

30 Days Faceless Day 3

My day of silence was broken only a little after 10 am this morning.
"There's a stick..." I said to my brother and his friend as I was about to back my car out of the driveway. They immediately started laughing at me.

Yep. I slipped up. But I kept going. I was silent the rest of the morning.
I cleaned and I made no bake cookies


At about 12:30pm I went for a walk. I was barefoot (still am) and I was walking through the water left on our street by the rain. One of my older neighbors was out in his yard and he waved to me and said hi. I waved back and kept walking. I slowed down at one point to look at something and before I knew it he had walked across the street to talk to me.

I thought it impolite to be silent so I indulged in conversation. And he had a lot to say. From high school biology classes to his job working on the first computers in the 1950's to mission work in central america, this guy was a talker. We talked right there on the street for a good thirty minutes.

After that I decided that this just wasn't the day to be silent. I make my plans, but God has His own. So I went with it and talked up a storm to my mom when she got home; telling her I didn't realize how much i talk. "Yeah. You talk a lot," she said.

That afternoon I went and found the best swings in bartlesville (that I know of). If you all know of any better ones please tell me.


I stayed there for a while, taking pictures, reading, journaling, and the like.



My day was good. Different, but good. And now, I might go put socks on. My feet are cold.