30 Days Faceless Day 20

Every saturday morning at the java house I work at, we serve swedish pancakes, homeade by Danny our head barista. I am his official helper. I place the pancakes on the plate, and put whatever the customer wants on there (whip cream, strawberries, butter, syrup, or lingonberries). To sum it all up, I make them look pretty.

Danny may flip the pancakes off of the pans and they may be twisted, broken, ripped, and even torn apart. But I know the secret to making it all look scrumptious and delightful. I was thinking about this as I was working this morning. Danny always lets me know when one ripped, "Oh! That is a mess. But I know you'll make it look pretty! They'll never know!" I am, afterall, that good.

So, I began to think about my job of making a messed up pancake look pretty. I hide it under the other two pancakes on the plate, or I fold it a certain way. I have a perfect technique of making it unseen and unnoticable. But then I thought, how good am I at doing this in real life? When I am messed up and broken and torn, do I just make myself look pretty on the outside and hide my pain or sin inside so no one will see? This is quite a serious thing.

Of course, this isn't a big deal with pancakes. It is food. It all tastes the same no matter what it looks like and it would not be bad if someone found out that the second pancake in their stack wasn't in one piece. But what about life? What about my life?

This is something I want God to search my heart for. Am I a hypocrite? Do I make my outside look pretty for others but leave the real me hidden?

I know this is easy for me to do, especially when I am struggling in pain or difficulties in my life. I hide it all so I won't "burden" anyone with what I am going through. I put on a smile and don't tell a soul. I hold in the tears when all I want to do is cry. I say I am good when I am really not. I tell half truths to get around the conversation that would make me ache again. I make my life look pretty.